Saturday, August 15, 2009

When Bad Luck F***s You Hard

I've had bad luck but I never thought there'd be worse days!

Like now.

I can never comprehend the greatness and mystery of life. My life. It has shown ways on how to get me angrier every second. Since time immemorial, humans were attacked with these deadly bad luck virus. How did it end up in my own backyard?! I was living a simple life when all of a sudden, life tells me to adapt to certain situations that always leave me broken-hearted and/or financially-drained. I've had my share of this pie...

I remembered trying to survive three days with an empty wallet, a broken family, and a closed bank account. My food comes from friends' shares and my car always runs in a near empty gas. What else you got?!?!

I yearn for those days when life was simple and fun. Well, those were like my teen years...

Now, I don't know where to seek shelter from these massive "bad luck" attack!

Can't see any reason to live this life but I have to. For my sake and the people who depend on me.

But, how can I?

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Bus Jacket



My car's broke and I need to go somewhere far. Good thing there's a bus I could rely on.

Too early to get up... But I have to. Ho-hum...

The bus is too damn cold!!! My jacket's not enough to warm my heart. After all, it's as broken as my car. Dunno how it manages to still start up.

At last, half way through the ride, some angel sat beside me. Hot angel, I should say. Well, her heat was insufficient because after an hour's ride, she squirmed. I guess the bus' freezing climate has the power to extinguish the fire of an angel.

Thank God!

Well, my parents brought me up with chivalry in mind. I was born on a Sunday and thought to be a savior someday. I just dunno know to whom I may be of service. So I always try my best to help others. Just like now.

And for an angel like the one beside me, I can't do anything but to follow my destiny. (naks!)

And that's what I did. I offered my ever reliable jacket without thinking that I can possibly freeze to death before I could arrive at my destination.

Well, it was worth it.

Up until now, I know her. Er, not as close as before, 4 years ago but still, I get updates (thank you facebook!)

She'll be marrying someone I don't know. Details? I don't know that too. But it was at this moment that I felt an angel will be returning back to heaven with someone dear to her.

I will miss her but the happiness I'm feeling right now for what she will be is greater than the feeling of loosing.

My heart's pounding to life as it should be. As it has been.

Blood gushing. Brain frozen.

But life's gotta move on. So should we.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

BLOG of My Life


These are words that I would rather write. It's better than "welcome" or "congratulations".

Last time I enjoyed the net was because of websites that unite people with long lost friends. Now I enter into something that I can share more of myself and my thoughts about life. And it's EMO.

I think finding time to write down thoughts wouldn't be difficult especially if the topic is being EMO.

I am happy.

Now playing: Casely - Me & U (remix)
via FoxyTunes

Monday, August 3, 2009

Life's Hard

"Let us celebrate the mystery of our faith"

For these past few months, I have encountered the following:
- my Grandma's week-long hospitalization
- my Mom's 3-day hospitalization
- my Team's sales "drought" from January up until now (zero extra income)
- my Sister's pre-natal stage and pre-wedding preparation

(... there are 3 more that should be listed but I'm keeping it private for now)

"Life's hard."

I have heard so many stories about people in the brink of insanity. Their reason? Mismanaged stress. For me, these are tales that I find impossible to happen to such a person in such a small period of time. Well, that was what I thought before this list happened to me.

It's amazing that this can happen!

At one point late last year, I was just living a normal healthy life... then all of a sudden, life's storm. What a mystery.

I admit, I wasn't expecting too much of this. But, then again, it made me question my faith - in myself, my family, and my God.

Then, I heard this celebration on the mystery of faith.

How can you celebrate something so mysterious?!

i REALized

Hmm, I just spent my 33rd birthday sick.

For some, it's a sad way to start a "new year". But, I think it happened for a reason: Because I need it.

Now, it's not that I need to be sick, but I need time to stop and smell the roses - What I have been, where i am, and who I should be.
- I tried counting how many mistakes I've made and how it affected the lives of people around me.
- I thought of the few hours I spent to help or even save lives.
- I pondered how I am as a Christian - how I made it felt to others.
- I remembered how appreciated I have been to those who are dear to me.
- I felt all the pain, seen all the tears wept, heard all the lies, tasted the bitterness of defeat, and I smelled the roses.

I had the chance to stand still and pause for a while.

I realized. I am still human: I made mistakes just like anyone else.

I fell in love and have experienced plunging into it's limbo. I told the truth yet I was able to lie. I've been happy yet in my heart, I have wept in sadness.

But maybe that's what really happens when you are human. You involuntarily ride the wheel of life: Sometimes you're up, other times you're down. And in between these spins are pauses. So when you've been down for so long, then the wheel halted for a while. One of these days, it will turn again. And when it does, be glad that your life is turning upwards.

Just like I will. Just like my wheel.

I'd like to thank the people who cared for me, not for what I can do but for who I am. I extend my deepest gratitude to those who held on to what I am even if it hurts. I am happy for those lives I've touched and have made them realize how good they are.

Let me also say this: I deeply extend my apology to those people I've hurt directly or indirectly. I might look mean for what I did that time but I was also a victim of the situation we do not want to be in.

Well, I was born in love, I will die in love.

By the way, on His 33rd year hear on Earth, Jesus died. He was hoping that He was able to save lives.

I hope I can also save some.

I had the time to stop and smell the roses... It was a wonderful experience.